Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Rezianne's Question

Wrote this and saved it as a draft a couple months ago:

"Let me ask though, what did you learn from your past exes?"

"Well that was an interesting question!
From my first boyfriend in 6th-7th grade, who is also my current boyfriend, I experienced my first love ... Maybe even my first heartbreak that was pretty much on and off for a while. From Rainier, my second boyfriend, from 7th-8th grade, I learned a lot about being a good person, loving hard, and being faithful. I also learned that communication is key because we lacked that and that we are better off as friends. From my boyfriend of 3 years from HS, I learned a lot about communication. We held on to a long distance relationship for 3 years, only seeing each other for a couple weeks during winter and summer vacations. I also learned to be true to be selfish for once because I realized that I was putting my life on hold for someone who didn't want to advance in life. He didn't go to school for the duration of our relationship. He wanted a future with me, but our goals didn't match up. What he wanted from me--ending up with me, marrying me, etc--could not be done because he lacked ambition academically and vocationally. I realized that I needed to be with someone who wanted a future with me and who could support a future with me. He never did anything wrong. Never did me wrong. So I had to do something I didn't want to do. It was something I HAD to do. For myself for once. From my recent ex of 3 years, I learned a lot. I learned that YES boys will be boys. I learned to trust my gut. I learned that it's okay to trust easily. That it's okay to be vulnerable, BUT that it is most important to own up to it in the end. I had to really pick myself up and leave the relationship because it was toxic to me. At the same time, I learned to be selfish, to take risks, to love unconditionally, to love hard, to give (even when my efforts weren't being reciprocated--that was the toxic part), that I needed to love myself, and that I deserved MUCH better.

At the end of the day, I don't regret being with my exes. I'm glad that I endured the things I endured with them because I wouldn't be who I am right now with Lawrence. They've all had positive impacts on me as well as a couple negative ones. It's all a big learning experience and I've learned that I deserve what I have right now. So for my exes, I am thankful!

And for having Lawrence, I am extremely grateful. I can not wait for what's in store for us! I look forward to learning about him and us as a couple. But most importantly, I'm excited to learn about myself because he has an insane effect on me that only I understand. It's beautiful. It's amazing. I look forward to growing with him in a way I never could have imagined. And to become the best version of us that we can be-together, because of each other. Cheers to that!"

Saturday, May 11, 2013

For L

The way I miss you and everything you are and how I yearn to be with you simultaneously is a love/hate kind of thing. I love that you have that kind of effect on me, but I hate enduring the effects--missing you and yearning to be in your presence. Then, in time, I love all the steps--including those previously mentioned--that lead up to being with you again because they bring me exactly where I want to be, my favorite place. And that place is with you. With that being said, I am ready and will always be ready...

To feel all of that for you.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Love Wasted

Attention to details
admired
at their finest.

Energy expelled
carelessly
at its shortest.

Slumber deeply
entwined
at our closest.

Morning eyes
languid
at their rawest.

 I'm love wasted.

Years spent apart
timidly
at our farthest.

Emotions undiscovered
unveiled
at their ripest.

Days solitary
together
thrivingat our strongest.

Souls meeting again
familiar
at their youngest.

This isn't love wasted.