Slow Down

Her thoughts are moving at such a fast pace--at a pace undetectable by radar. At a pace that causes her thoughts to be incomprehensible and incoherent. It's almost chaotic. It is chaotic. But she thinks the chaos is beautiful. That the chaos makes her human and sane. The thoughts are still racing and so is she to beat herself to the next. She's running, sprinting, racing to have some sort of control over what's going to happen next. But there's no steering wheel to turn, no remote control to press pause, no brakes to bring the racing to a halt. But this is where she's at. She's at the point where she, life, and everyone around her just races uncontrollably and blindly to the finish line. That artificial, imaginary finish line. But that isn't what she wants. She wants to see where she's going, what's ahead of her. She wants a chance to look back. A chance to reflect and soak it all in. She wants time to learn, to experience, to allow herself to feel entirely and indulge without shame. She doesn't want to wonder what's going to happen next. She doesn't want to spend her life wondering if this is where she's supposed to be, if this is who she really is, if this is what she wants. And as she catches up with these thoughts, she realizes... She's human. She's vulnerable. She needs security. She needs reassurance. She needs to let go, enjoy, indulge, and bask in all that this time is. Beautiful.

For L

The way I miss you and everything you are and how I yearn to be with you simultaneously is a love/hate kind of thing. I love that you have that kind of effect on me, but I hate enduring the effects--missing you and yearning to be in your presence. Then, in time, I love all the steps--including those previously mentioned--that lead up to being with you again because they bring me exactly where I want to be, my favorite place. And that place is with you. With that being said, I am ready and will always be ready...

To feel all of that for you.